Thursday, December 06, 2007
Barry Melrose Comes to Newark
"Don't go outside if you have a wallet or anything else, because the area around the arena is just horrible."
- "HOLD YOUR WAL-LET" (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap, repeat) - Obvious.
- "WASH YOUR HAIR" (repeat) - Obvious.
- "Scene of the Crime" by Ratt - I don't know if anyone would know the lyrics, but Melrose totally bit his hairstyle from Warren DiMartini.
- "YOU CAN'T COACH" (repeat) - The Kings under Melrose: 82-103-31, one Gretzky-willed trip to the Stanley Cup Finals and two postseason misses.
- "ARE YOU BRIAN ENGBLOM IN DISGUISE?" - Dye Melrose's hair, and they look similar.
- "KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL" - Nothing to do with Barry. I know the Crazies do this on penalty kills, the rest of the arena should do it too if only because it sounds menacing.
- "BARRY'S AFRAID OF THE ROOOOCK" - Hold the first syllable on "rock."
- Booing every time Melrose is on the big screen (which I expect) and everytime Viktor Kozlov has the puck (which I also expect, Kozlov was horrible in New Jersey).
- Nothing - Well, ESPN ignores hockey, so perhaps we should ignore Melrose?
- Spelling out "E-S-P-N S-U-C-K-S" - Well, they do. Because of the ignoring hockey thing. And whole lot of other reasons.